


(Not) Paying Attention

by Pomelofangirl



Series: Nightmares of what was or could be [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: I AM SORRY, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Nightmares, Rin is blaming himself pretty much, coping with best friends death, there is possibly a trigger in here somewhere and this is badly written I am sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:51:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2175351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelofangirl/pseuds/Pomelofangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wakes up with tears in his eyes and Sousuke's name on his lips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Not) Paying Attention

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QueenPotatos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos/gifts).



> What can I say.  
> I am sorry that this is so badly written and possibly hurried and what not.  
> This is the AU where Sousuke actually dies.  
> I am sorry.

He wakes up with tears in his eyes and Sousuke's name on his lips.

It's the middle of the night and he feels like this is not a thing he should do.

They have a tournament tomorrow.

The bed beside him is not empty but the boy sleeping there is not the one haunting his dreams.

Rin hears Haru's slow breathing and compares it to the one he used to hear in his last year of high school in Samezuka.

It isn't the first time Rin wakes up like this, and often at these times he remembers the most stupid throwndowns, the little things like Sousuke helping Ai swim and how he thought that everything will be _fine_ from now on because maybe Sousuke actually got what swimming in a team was all about.

Rin remembers their confrontation after perfecturals. And the one before regionals when Sousuke asked... no begged Rin to let him swim the freestyle leg in the relay.

How Rin stupidly declined that because „Hey it's the last chance for us to swim against Iwatobi and I might not get the chance to swim with Haru, and besides you are better at the butterfly so the time will be faster.”

It was stupid but how could Rin know that it would be the last chance for Sousuke to swim with him and that he made sure that Haru will go into competitive swimming and that Haru agreed to that?

How could Rin know that there was something wrong with Sousuke then?

Communication is not something he's good at. 

If it were, if Rin would notice, or if Sousuke would _tell_ him about his problems, maybe it wouldn't be the end. 

Maybe if Rin didn't force him to swim butterfly, he'd be here with them and Rin wouldn't wake up in tears every night, the scene from after regionals playing over and over in his mind again.

Of course Rin is better with Haru, there is no doubt about that. Nobody impacts his swimming like Haru, nobody makes Rin a better person like Haru. 

And of course it's thanks to Haruka that Rin is able to smile and live in a world where his best friend is not alive anymore.

But if Rin was asked if there is one thing he regrets in his life, the answer would be „Yeah. Not paying attention.”


End file.
